Slip of the tongue

My life is still in a strange limbo stage. Maybe it's not really limbo but reality and I'm just not ready to except my vagabond lifestyle. Either way I feel dreamlike the majority of the time and it has its pros and cons. On the pro side, I don't feel a lot of anxiety towards change -- make that zero anxiety and I'm much more versatile and open-minded to say... new work opportunities. The bad parts are bizarre dreams about Asia and paranoia about how people judge me and loneliness for things that I can't articulate. I've found myself listening to a lot of old ballet songs and tearing up and it's not a "woman" thing. It's a "where's my life going" thing. When I was feeling nostalgic from a Mariah Carey song I knew things were spiraling out of hand.

I'm still plugging away at the esl job. I actually really, truly enjoy working with the students and if the pay was better I would love to continue the job but it's just not possible. My class primarily consists of Mexicans and Koreans and we have the usual cultural banter and giggles over sex, drinking and homeless people in Toronto (not laughing at their plight just their rambling madness). I've been teaching idioms for about two weeks and that's been pretty hilarious. An idiom is a collection of words that mean something differently together than they do separately... for example, "To let your hair down." Anyway, I accidentally taught them "slip of the tongue" and they were repeating it like drones and I was cringing at the vulgarity that they were oblivious to. To clarify, when the idiom was taught it was meant as an error in speech or to reveal a secret not a sly make-out move.

My two friends from Korea are still in Toronto. We've been having weekly dinners together and I'm grateful for the opportunity to cook something other than instant soup and scrambled eggs. I think I miss having a family setting... at least for eating. They find Toronto extremely expensive and they're on a crazy budget so we haven't really gone out much but watching Lost with English subtitles at home is fine with me.

I think that's it. My dad got back from a three week trip to Spain today so I had to return the car. The family is obliged to attend my cousin's wedding on Saturday. He's like 7 years younger than me so well, the mind is churning....